Another Parade

New York loves its parades. But do New Yorkers love them? Well, who doesn't like the Macy's Parade. Big ballons and such. I've never seen it, but hey, sounds like fun, if you could just get rid of those people. What about all those ethic parades though? Why are they there? Are they for the whole city. No, I don't really think so. Last weekend I ran into the Dominican Parade. All I saw was Dominicans. Well, fine, if they want to have a parade it is their right to have one. But what is the point of this parade. To celebrate being Dominican. Why do we need to celebrate our ethinicity in a parade. Aren't we all supposed to be equal. Why isn't there a womens parade, a kids parade, a mens parade, an old person parade, or a white parade. Oh, that's right, white people are evil. They oppressed slaves and founded the country and all that, so they don't get a parade. Or is that white people are just celebrated too much already. That George Washington, well he just says it all. Looking at holidays actually Columbus has one (he was Spanish, which has nothing to do that he was just an idiot), M.L. King has one (he was black, but at least he was a good, intelligent, guy). No, I think white guys actually have less holidays. HMMMmmm.

I guess I'm getting off topic. We're talking about parades. If I said the Dominicans don't deserve a parade then you would label me as racist. How dare he say that. To clear that up, I don't care if the Dominicans have a parde, besides the fact that I find all parades pointless and irritating. What I'm trying to explore here is why the Puerto Ricans have a parade and the Dominicans have a parade, and countless other "minorities" have parades. I don't understand it. I live in West Harlem with many Domicans. They are out every day and every night hanging out on the sidewalks enjoying life, being lively, what is the point of all these parades???? Why can't we just live together as "people" and live life. Why do we need to segregate our differences in parades and if we do, why are we leaving all these other groups out, because to me being a man or woman, young or old, is about as relevant as the color of your skin. So if there is a Domincan parade don't hold back, old women with excessive wrinkles, celebrate and hold a fucking parade.

I dream of a world ( or at least a city) where everyone is just people. We celebrate things as a whole. When there is a parade the whole city should want to be there because it is about everyone. I dream of a city where all neighborhoods are intigrated, everyone is tolerated, where the Dominican hair salon can be next to the Irish Pub, which can be next to the indie rock club, which can be next to the Starbucks. Here's the problem with New Yorkers. Everyone is so worried about their identity and their herritage that they refuse to put into a larger group. It will never really be "New Yorkers." The mentality of this over populated city is that there are so many people here we need to band together in our groups and be strong in our groups and prove we are better than the others, that we won't be taken advantage of. This is our neighborhood, this is our way of life, this is our ways and deal with it.

I don't really care what people do, I'm not judging anyone. That isn't my place. So don't get all pissed off that I'm an asshole. I'm just observing, and in my opinion if everyone just quit trying to be so different and fight over different things and try to isolate themselves and their idenity we could get a lot more accomplished. Imagine if all New Yorkers, no matter where they were from and who they were came together and had a parade for better health care. Together as a whole we could get things accomplished that mattered to everyone. Better pay, better living conditions, better subway service, better health care, better safety, and so on. To me that's what living together in a city is about, the whole trying to better things for everyone. So stop the pointless parades and let's celebrate the things in life that matter to all of us. The mentality of America has always been the "I" and until we come together as a "we" all of us will always be fighting for our individual desires. And I'm sorry, but individuals don't have a change when it comes to the whole system.

Take your SUV and shove it!

So here's a story of man vs. man, ego vs. ego, and idiot vs. enviornmentalist. I was out with some friends on Saturday last. We were going to go on a bike ride with an organization that promotes bike riding in Manhattan and New York. Before the tour de Uptown Manhattan we met for Brunch near Columbia University. As we were locking up our bikes this SUV, a Toyota, I think pulls into a parking spot on the street. Now, these parking spots are pretty big if you go off how far the meters are spaced apart. But this spot was extra large considering the car behind the SUV was pulled far back and the car in front was pulled far forward. So this SUV had plenty of room, well, fine.

So two seconds later this other SUV comes down the road and sees all this extra space between the Toyota and the car in front of it. This wasn't some Ford of Chevy though, this was the most over sized, gas sucking, CO2 polluting machine man ever made, a hummer. On top of that it was a bright shitty yellow colour. So this woman, the yuppie that she looked like, spent ten minutes backing and forwarding this thing in. Well my friend had a shirt on with a picture of a Hummer except underneath it said Dummer. We looked in disgust as this SUV practically plowed its way into this illegal parking space. We went to eat.

On the way out things got a little more intense. It would seem that her husband had been standing on the sidewalk this whole time taking in our disgust, our looks, and my friend's exposure of his shirt. He confronted my friend saying "Oh, here's the funny guy," over and over again in that "I'm a bad ass New Yorker" voice. He continued on with such phrases as "this is my neighborhood" and "and your shirt and attitude is offensive" to which my friend replied "your car is offensive." The guy wouldn't give up as he kept trying to be a big shot with his "some guys get their ass kicked for doing things like this" attitude. Somehow the guy even managed to work in comparisons of the incident to racial slurs and the like. He must really be digging. Well, my friend kept his cool just fine and we rode off and left the asshole and his more rational wife, who kept telling him not to get into it, behind.

Now, this is America, and you have the right to blow your money on all the stupid shit you want. Well, that's the attitude we have right. This guy obviously had enough money to blow on a big expensive car to make up for the small size of his penis, and dammit, he was loud and proud about it. But is there a point where too much is just too fucking much? This brand new car, which surprised me on the basis of who would buy something like this these days with gas prices the way they are, is quite frankly stupid. In my opinion it is hard enough to justify having such a car if you live in the country. But this is fucking Manhattan and according to his ranting he lived in the neighborhood. At first we might of thought he at lived in Jersey or Long Island, but no, he lived right here in Manhattan with a car the size of my bedroom. Why? I mean, this car will never see Montana mountains, quicksand in the desert, or swamps in Florida, it will drive our overcrowded narrow streets in New York. You think this guy will take this thing off roading. No, a scratch on that 90,000 price tag by a tree would just ruin it now wouldn't it.

The excuse that in America you have the right to just do as you please is bullshit. With freedom comes responsibility, but unfortunately with Capitalism, responsiblity is not part of the equation. Just because you can buy something doesn't mean you need to strees our city our anymore. The guy fucked himself over by having to fill up a tank every 100 miles with a 100 bucks in gas, but his reward is a big ego and less focus of his small dick and idiot personality. The people of New York are this big losers though. They get a big car to crowd their streets, something hard to see around, something that takes up more space then need be on the street, and most importantly, the pedestrians of New York get to breathe a shit load of pollution that this thing is pumping out. With paved roads abound in this country it takes some tough convincing for anyone to justify an SUV even if you live in the country. But there is no way to convince anyone that you need this thing in New York. So to Mr. Small Dick, your big ego will be riding so high in your big car you'll probably run someone over, or kill someone in an accident when you are playing with your CD changer and GPS and hit someone in a more economical car. If you are lucky at never run into something, well at least you can sit back and know three more kids got some lung disease. For someone who was big for standing up to defend his neighborhood you just cause your neighborhood more breathing problems and traffic congestion. You're the big guy now.

I'm surprised I havnen't been hit by spit yet!

Yes, I saw again, twic in fact. People in this city constantly spitting. New Yorkers and spit seem to go together like bad coffee and a dirty deli in this town. Now, I know sometimes you have to spit, but honestly. I'm not talking about people who go against a building or up to a gutter, I'm talking about people spitting left and right, across side walks, into traffic, right in front of people! Jesus Christ, keep your nasty fucking germs in your fucking mouth for Christ's sake. And let's not even begin talking about the "snot rocket." I'm still not over the woman who turned around in front of me, put her hand to her nose, and just blew. I watched in amazment as glops of snot flew into my path. Fuck me! New York sophistication at it's best.

No JOB Blues

I recently got laid off from work, about three weeks ago, and I must say there is nothing more degrading that could happen to a person. It is one thing to quit, walk out, or even get fired. If you get fired you generally fucked up some how and you can't really blame yourself. But when you get laid off there is a series of events that go with it. First, you feel as if you aren't good enough, afterall, some people got to stay, why not me? Why wasn't I good enough? Also, everyone at the office looks at you are a stranger those last couple days. They are happy they got to keep their job, but shit, they can't really show it, that would be just rude; so instead they mope around and be extra nice, flashing you that "everything will be okay" smile. And finally, there's nothing worse than that trip home on the subway with a box full of your office belongings. It's like a break up. You made friends and relationships, you worked hard and had your own desk real estate, and now, it is all down to a box on the train that everyone can see, oh, any they know what's going on.

The future looks grim. Let's not toy around here. Stocks are down, people are losing money, outsourcing, and all of that shit. And if that's not enough, a new report came out that tells of college students graduating with record numbers of debt, starting like off in a touch work environment with practically a morgage over their heads, except they have no house to live in here, they have to pay rent and bills also. So much are gone the days when you graduated and quit living like college student, instead you are left with bebt and maybe you can quit living like a college student when you're 40.

So where's the high note? Where's the positive spin on this story? Where's the fucking American Dream to give us hope in this down and out economy? Well, don't look at me, I'm asking you. All I can say is sleeping in really is nice.

American Marriage, a joke all around!

We talked about this on our new news show "Coffee Break." The gay marriage ban failed to pass in our governement. Obviously this is good. But it still doesn't take care of the problem. And what problem is that? The fact that most Americans think that gay marriage is going to ruin the country. Well that's simple bullshit. Straight couples have already managed to shread marriage to pieces. While there is a large group of Americans thinking that gays are going to take the concept of marriage and trash it, they are ignoring what they have done. Quite simply divorce sums it all up. Most of marriages fail and they end in divorce. Marriages by straight couples are treated like dating these days. You get married, pop some kids out, and then get divorced. If that's not the cast they just get married on the spot. They run off to Vegas. They get married for all the wrong reasons. Some get married for money, for comfort, or just because they don't want to be loney. Gays haven't done this, striaght people have. So before Americans run screamed the that marriage is about to go to hell they should clean it up before the gays even have a chance to get to it. At least with gay marriages there wouldn't be kids being screwed over between Dad's House and Mom's house, and Dad's new wife, trying to be mom. Quite frankly all marriage should be outlawed until anyone can deal with it. But if you're going to have marriage you might as well allow the gays to have chance at misery, attorney fees, divorce, child support, and alamony.